Monthly Archives: November 2012


Here’s an exclusive preview of FOIST’s upcoming compilation THE POINTLESS OF EVERYTHING, out when our many acts have recorded their many ditties… also, another exclusive track off what’s sure to be a big hit in the folk world, BIG CUN TREE’s debut EP, MEADOWS OF PHLEGM.

So ello ello ello what’s all this then, what’s it’s all about etc etc…

We’re very impressed by our new signing, a space-garage-rock band we discovered floating above a leyline in the middle of the woods (location secret). We’re assured by the songwriter that any incidental reference in the lyrics to any person, alive or dead, is purely coincidental.


It’s fortunate that this reclusive combo, which has been in hibernation for the past 2 decades, added that word in brackets, or we wouldn’t know what they’re talking about. Via semaphore signals, this collective, which inhabits scowles, explained: “We were interested in the synthesis between music of the Mesolithic age and that of the electronic age. Imagine you have been transported 6000 years into the future, and find yourself at an electronic music convention. As is the natural way of things, you are part of a shamanic hunter-gatherer procession and you dip briefly in and out of rooms and marquees where various forms of electronic music are being performed. Is your primal being enriched by the modern sounds, has your ego developed beyond an embryo as a result? We leave it up to the listener to ponder these possibilities.” Quick bit of background… AFTERNOON SKY first sent FOIST signals via short-wave radio in about 1989, indicating it wished to make 2 yin-yan concept albums, titled SO MANY REASONS FOR US TO BE ALIVE and WISH I WAS DEAD. Both have gone done in history as astounding successes in the collective-unconscious concept-album sphere. There was a third one, but can’t quite recall the title. So it was quite a surprise when they emerged from the depths of the earth once again, the other week.


Perhaps the most infectious act out there in the FOISTIAN dimension, ADULT PLAYROOM presents another corker, in contention to being as big a smash as BANG BANG BUSY and NEVER THE SAME, and their debut LP, HEAD FULL OF TOYS. This one is about someone singer Ian Morley knows too well…


On a mission to folk off the planet, these cunning traditionalist minstrels have taken an excerpt from another ancient song, something about a man spying a lady bathing in some water, and reinvented the fiery Celtic wheel.

5. This last one, if it has a title, I really can’t recall what it is, and not sure who it’s by either. Must check when we have the next FOIST session tomorrow night. But to me it sounds like the perfect slice of loping funk with only faintly sinister undertones…

So, that’s yer lot for now… let us know what you think. Don’t be polite.


Vote? Thursday? You’d be forgiven for missing the election for Police & Crime Commissioner – it hasn’t been well publicised, and you may well have just chucked your poll cards into the recycling with the junk mail… well dig them out again, because this is ONE VOTE where we the people can have an impact, and show Parliament as a whole what we think of it.

If we all went out and voted for an INDEPENDENT, we can ensure the political parties don’t get a stranglehold on our police, or even worse to prevent a fascist from getting in! In Dyfed-Powys, Durham, Hertfordshire, Lancashire, North Yorkshire, South Yorkshire, Staffordshire and Sussex, you don’t have much of a choice (but to vote against the Tories)… while in Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire, Essex, Kent, Liverpool and South Yorkshire we’ve got to get out and vote to stop fascist candidates. There are also a few places where I got a despot alert from looking at the independent candidates’ manifestos… So treat all with caution. If anyone believes I have made a grave error of judgement by including any of the candidates in the list below, please let me know as soon as possible.

You may be one of the 60+% who don’t vote, who politicians claim are ‘apathetic’, when the reason many don’t vote is because they feel no political party represents them. Well, apart from a few police force areas, this is our chance to show we are NOT apathetic and we DON’T want a political party running everything. If the Tories get in, privatisation will almost certainly rapidly follow, along with cuts. Before you know it, a private security firm will be making arrests, running the 999 service and investigating complaints. That seems to be why they decided to create this new post and open it up to political players.

Just imagine if enough of us people disenchanted with political parties turned out and voted on Thursday (7am-10pm), we could give the politicians a message, hands off, and potentially reconcile some difficulties with the public-police relationship in the meantime.

And if we don’t vote, not only is there a strong risk Tories will vote, but there are also fascists standing in some areas, and a few places where independents who seem to have a bit of a totalitarian outlook standing. See this site for full details:

You might have received hand-delivered leaflets from political parties, but you’d be more unlikely to receive one from the independent candidate as the Government has denied all candidates their usual electoral right to a free mailshot. Every candidate had to find £5,000 to stand, and as the run-up to the election hasn’t been well publicised, the independent candidates tend to be those who were in the know: ex-police officers, people in other public service, some of them with some progressive and positive ideas. Another hurdle for independents is that they need to find 100 nominations to stand, while those from political parties only 10.

I should point out that this article and others are the views of Tarzan Evans, and not necessarily the FOIST collective. And it doesn’t seem to be anything to do with FOIST, you might think? Well as a citizen of FOIST I demand to have my say, autonomously… anyway, let me soothe you with some HELIUM DEALER, and Avoiding Keith, our hit tune of 2010… below is the list of candidates I recommend. If anyone spots any wrong ‘uns on there, let me know…

And PLEASE share this blog around, copy and paste it, whatever… THIS IS PRETTY VITAL… vote to keep politicians (an increasingly sinister bunch, they seem, or is it just me?) from controlling the police AND to reject ALL of them (where possible, in a few places – notably South Yorkshire, where Labour seems to be the only option to stop UKIP, the Tories or English Democrats)… In some places there are 2 recommended candidates, and you get a 1st and 2nd choice… Your vote still counts, however, if you leave the second choice blank (as long as you mark the first choice).

Recommended independents:


F: Fascist/ nationalist also standing

T: Independent candidate also standing who is displaying totalitarian/draconian/right-wing zero tolerance-style tendencies

U: UKIP also standing

NB: Tories are standing in all places


Avon  & Somerset: Sue Mountstevens

Bedfordshire: Mezanur Rashid F

Cambridgeshire: Farooq Mohammed F

Cheshire: Sarah Flannery

Cleveland: Sultan Alam Joe Michna (Green Party)

Cumbria: Mary Robinson

Derbyshire: Rod Hutton

Devon & Cornwall: William Morris Ivan Jordan

Dorset: Martyn Underhill



Essex: Linda Belgrove F U

Gloucestershire: Martin Surl

Greater Manchester: Roy Warren

Gwent: Ian Johnson

Christopher Wright:

Hampshire & IOW: Don Jerrard, Justice & Anti-Corruption Party Simon Hayes U


Humberside: Paul Davison U.

Kent: Ann Barnes Dai Liyanage F


Leicestershire: Suleman Nagdi

Lincolnshire: Alan Hardwick

Liverpool: Kiron Reid F U

Norfolk: Stephen Bett U

Northamptonshire: John Norrie U

North Wales: Winston Roddick U


Nottinghamshire: Malcolm Spencer

South Wales: Mike Baker

Tony Verderame:



Suffolk: David Cocks U

Surrey: Peter Williams T U


Thames Valley: Patience Tayo Awe U

Warwickshire: Ronald Ball

West Mercia: Bill Longmore

West Midlands: Derek Webley Mike Rumble

Wiltshire: Liam Silcocks T U


Here’s TURBOWANKER to play us out:


What connects Obama with Wild Willy Barrett and the latest Foist act, Big Cun Tree? Er, nothing really, except I wanted to give all 3 subjects a heads-up.

First, the most expensive US election in history has bought Obama victory. A sigh of relief that we didn’t get that rabid rightwing fundamentalist Romney waving America’s big stick, but little comfort for the families in Pakistan and Afghanistan being devastated by the US’s death-by-remote-control drones, nor the thousands of Muslims being tortured in Guantanamo Bay. Wall Street, Rothschild and the other elite families win whether it’s Democrat or Republican. I think a great many of us worldwide realise that. But I’m pleased people did actually turn out and vote Obama, despite many on the left advising them not to bother. Lesser of two evils, in my view, and I like to think Obama would do more good if he wasn’t tied to the puppet strings of the military-industrial complex. As for Romney, like our Tories over here, I don’t think he has an ounce of compassion for anyone except his own redneck people…

Never mind the bollocks, here’s another reminder to ensure you check out WILD WILLY BARRETT at the FLYING SHACK at GLOUCESTERSHIRE AIRPORT, STAVERTON (between Gloucester and Cheltenham) this FRIDAY night. Btw, the other gig I flagged up, POSH FROCK & JUKEBOX’s reunion at the Railway in Newnham on Sunday was fantastic – even if it took 30 minutes of involuntary molestation of friends and strangers to get to the bar/loos/outside for a fag. So when’s the next gig, Posh Frock?

So, WILD WILLY BARRETT… the other half of OTWAY & BARRETT who enjoyed hits in the late 70s with Really Free, Beware of the Flowers and Cheryl’s Going Home. They still team up from time to time, but the FLYING SHACK gig sees Barrett in a different combo, SLEEPING DOGZ.

Tickets are £5 (includes temporary club membership for the night), doors open 7pm, music starts c. 8.45 pm, you get tickets by calling Flying Shack on 01452 690046 or email or better still in person at The Shack for cash! Lots of info on Willy at

Organiser and Flying Shack mainman Poetpilot says this is the musical event of the year at the flying school-cum-venue. I repeat the info I was given before (and posted in an earlier blog): Their original blend of material covers genres from Bluegrass, Irish jigs and acoustic blues to what can only be described as punk folk, played on instruments as diverse as guitar, banjo, fiddle, cello, Irish pipes, whistles and drums.

“Willy has been working in France for the last year with French singer Mary-Laure (who will also be with him at The Flying Shack where the talented multi-instrumentalist has been putting together a more up-beat set with jazz-jive and country rock influences.

“Willy says he is undergoing a musical metamorphosis and this is reflected in his playing. If you are looking for a group within a set genre performing covers, forget it. However, if you are looking for a truly original performance full of fun, dry humour and the unexpected, with toe-tapping fiddle and banjo interspersed with haunting vocals, cello and guitar – see you there!”

Here’s a snippet of what to expect:

Lastly, I simply MUST draw your attention to Big Cun Tree, Foist’s latest signing, currently preparing their debut EP Meadows of Phlegm for limited release… here are 2 diverse examples, both using ancient lyrics with new, invented tunes:



Hex Fremlin once had a song called Your Nation Is Not My Nation, which I’ve sneakily namechecked in this piece sent to my local Labour-left magazine, the Forest & Wye Valley Clarion. That’s a lame FOISTIAN connection and reason for publishing it for you all to have a look at, but sod it.

Anyway, here’s another FOIST song that has nothing to do with the article, really… from the old Soundcloud account (which I’ve forgotten the log-in to) dating back to 1992 and inspired by a visit to a field. The new account at is much better!

EITHER I have a heightened sense of déjà vu, or history really is repeating itself.

Many Clarion readers might draw many comparisons with the ConDems to Thatcher’s 1980s, when Ghost Town by The Specials topped the chart, inner cities were ablaze, the government declared war on the workers and destroyed their industries and rights, the poor were told to ‘get on their bikes’ to find non-existent jobs, there was a rapid privatisation programme…

But… wait… the clocks are whirring backwards at an incredible rate, and, yes, the time machine (thanks HG Wells) has taken me much further back, to the years before Nye Bevan, Keir Hardie, the Suffragettes, Chartists and Luddites. I’ve come to a shuddering halt 13 years before the French Revolution and shortly before Tom Paine’s Common Sense and Rights of Man.

1776: the dawning of the Industrial Revolution, the year Adam Smith lit the touchpaper for laissez-faire capitalism with The Wealth of Nations, when a fresh class of privileged merchants and stockbrokers joined forces with aristocrats to form a consolidated elite. Known as tons, bucks, men of quality, or simply The World, the dandified ruling class kept different hours to the oi polloi, gambling through the night, and blearily taking up their daily offices in parliament and the judiciary – when pertinent to their own interests. Membership of the group was tiny, they had their fingers in many lucrative pies, home and abroad, and their only contract with the other 99% was to press them for taxes so they could protect and build their own fiefdoms within an expanding British Empire.

Only a tiny percentage of the population could vote, private property was far more sacred than human lives, the poor were poor because they deserved to be poor, and their survival depended on charity.

When politicians spoke of the “country” they really meant their estates, rather than any national interest. Parliament was for proscribing law, raising taxes for and endorsing military and buccaneer adventures. Wiping out a native population, subjugating it and seizing the land was lauded in the highest court, while stealing a loaf of bread to fend off starvation was a hanging offence.

The Royalists in Parliament had, post-Restoration, been given the name Tories – from the Irish tórai, for robber – and it stuck.  The two “sides”, the Tories and the Whigs (now the LibDems) both solely represented the interests of the ruling class.

The idea of widening the voting franchise was considered absurd by MPs and their cronies. The Leveller Thomas Rainsborough had asked Cromwell’s grandees in 1647 what he and fellow New Model Army veterans had been fighting for in the Civil War if not their individual rights, including a vote. He was slapped down: “No man hath a right to an interest or share in the disposing of the affairs of the kingdom… that hath not a permanent fixed interest in this kingdom.” And so it remained until after 1918.

Adam Smith’s laissez-faire is all about freedom… for some. The “invisible hand”, a self-regulating mechanism, would ensure all remained well and prosperous… for certain players. Laissez-faire relies on the poor and slaves as the necessary cogs (although steadily replaced by machines), the producers; the middling types, the petit bourgeoisie are the consumers and junior managers of industry, fuel for the oligarchy’s engine.

We still have a situation where many producers can’t afford to be consumers of the products they spend many of their waking hours making; the British Empire has been replaced by a corporate jostle for global dominance; our police and army exist mainly to protect private property and secure more of it (in Iraq’s case, for oil interests); the Big Society and the shrinking of the welfare state are signs of passing any social contract to the patronising whim of charity.

As for the class-variable treatment of thieves, we in the Forest of Dean have recently fended off a government-sponsored land-robbery attempt (hurrah for us!) while someone who steals a bottle of water is imprisoned for four years. We are governed by a kleptocracy – the word was coined for post-Communist Russia but Cameron and co’s asset-stripping of the NHS and our other public possessions, so blatantly being handed to MPs and their close friends and beneficiaries are signs of obvious “crony capitalism”, to be polite.

The laissez-faire dream of globalisation has resulted in the increasing exploitation of cheap labour abroad, and herding the discarded British cogs into a workfare conveyor. Rather than London being riddled with slums as it was in 1776, the poor are now being driven out altogether. The latest cunning plan for the London of Boris is that many Londoners priced out of renting their current homes will be shipped to cheaper estates as far away as Merthyr Tydfil, squatting is now officially illegal, and rough-sleepers are to be eradicated (following an attempt in Cardiff, it’s due to become City of Westminster policy).

Fast forward… the time machine pauses at 1962, the year the Beatles released Love Me Do as a prelude to the Swinging Sixties, when Chicago economist Milton Friedman published Capitalism and Freedom, interpreted further down the line by Naomi Klein as The Shock Doctrine. Whether they’ve manifested as a dash for individual economic freedom against Commies and statists, robbery on a gargantuan scale, a racheting-up of the military-industrial complex, Friedman’s policies have engulfed almost the entire world.

Friedman had the first chance to try out his laissez-faire upgrade in 1975 when the military dictator Augusto Pinochet called for his expertise. Never mind Chile’s countless “disappeared” supporters of democracy, Friedman’s “Chilean Miracle” was the toast of Washington and London. Thatcher had much to discuss with Pinochet over tea, and Reagan also followed Friedman’s recommendations: more law and order enforcement to protect property rights, and relaxed regulations for free-marketeers. And so it goes on…

After dumping Clause IV, Blair and Brown continued down the same Thatcherite path, thinly disguised as the “third way”. This meant further privatisation, authoritarianism, “shock and awe” mass murder in Iraq and Afghanistan, and bailing out beached-whale banks with public money, coupled with a decline in Party membership.

Most therapists would advise that ruminating on the past is a bad idea. Regressing to the squalid, inequitable 18th century is, too.

We really want a future, and not one proscribed and confined by determinist “realities” that advocate the same neoliberal approach but only applied more gently and caringly.

Any glance at the Greek Syriza movement, the Indignados of Spain, the Occupy movement, the Arab Spring, the Bolivars and Zapatistas of South America – mass emerging movements despite their marginalisation and scant coverage from mainstream media, reveals a new wave of beyond-Mammon enlightenment from those outside the institutions of power; a growing consensus and call for “real democracy now”. We all know that the banking system, property, wealth and the magic-wand creation of money as debt have shaky foundations or exist only in a bubble ready to be punctured and so much wealth and power has been ill-gained.

One major difference between now and 1776 is that we have secured the vote. If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain: this argument often blames low turnouts simply on apathy, hence the Tories taking the reins in 2010 with a mandate from a whopping 20% of us.

The argument works just as well turned on its head: if you do vote, you are giving credence and sanctioning a vicious economic and political system which favours only the few, bleeding the many.

I reluctantly put a cross for Labour merely because I prefer bad to worse. I am continually drawn into arguments with friends who say they are both the same, that a Labour government would merely be a shuffling of the pack. I counter that perhaps there’ll be a smidgeon more compassion for the downtrodden. But is that enough?

The Labour Party is only as good as the people within the Movement, trying to affect change, as has been recently argued here in the Clarion. Jon Cruddas, Labour’s policy chief, severely laid into neoliberalism in his review of a book, Britannia Unchained, by Progressive, anti-compassionate Conservative MPs. Perhaps all is not lost.

But is Labour’s “market” confined to the 30-odd per cent niche that turn out for the elections, or is the Party also working for the disenfranchised, the let-down, democracy’s outsiders, the apathetic majority (depending on perspective)?

Will Labour continue to perpetuate this downward spiral of debt and austerity, insisting that increasingly ruthless cuts are “necessary” as borrowing inexorably soars in order to pay ever-inflating interest rates, while trillions of pounds owed by high-flyers, more than enough to wipe clean the deficit, are being written off?

Or… will Miliband’s Labour instead take us back to, say, 1845? Then the forecast was, revolution likely unless the proles are pacified, and quickly. Friedrich Engels published The Condition of the Working Class in England, and Benjamin Disraeli wove fiction and politics together for his novel Sybil, or the Two Nations. Engels wanted social justice and an end to exploitation, Disraeli to preserve a hierarchy maintained by aristocrats and their lackeys, putting the brakes on the rampant commercial sector, thus preserving class divisions. Disraeli’s paternalistic vision of an “organic society” was a natural hierarchy where everyone knew their place in the pyramid, and classes had obligations to each other.

In the Thatcher era, a Disraeli-ite might have been a Tory “wet”, or a Europhobe, sometimes verging on jingoistic nationalist, a flag-waving protectionist.

So what can one make of Miliband’s “one nation” mantra? He has yet to flesh out the rhetoric, despite repeating it like a robot with a trapped-circuit. Does Miliband’s “Blue Labour” simply equate with “nice” socially responsible Toryism rather than Cameron’s rampant, violent, heartless, cruel Toryism?

Or is “One Nation” just another way of saying “we’re all in this together”? Aside from it offending my internationalist sensibilities, I don’t know whether “one nation” means me and my fellow impoverished political outsiders, or is about as inclusive as Cameron’s “together”?

Besides, nations have become increasingly irrelevant as they’ve been dwarfed by multinationals. In the IMF and EU-driven misery that engulfs Greece, fascism is flourishing around the Greek flag. Do we really want to encourage national flag-waving in such a climate, when scapegoating the most vulnerable is all the rage?

How can I be British and proud when I discover Poppy Day is a networking event for arms dealers, when the Union flag is and remains a symbol of imperial oppression, when the most powerful upholders of church, state and law turn out to be child abusers?

Nobody cares… so we Vote Nobody, to echo a recent Bristol mock-election campaign. Many of my friends believe that if voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.  I hope that Labour will prove them wrong.

If Labour hasn’t the courage or will to make a decisive break with neoliberalism (as has Syriza in Greece, and the post-bloodless-revolution government of Iceland), I too may feel obliged to vote with my feet, telling Miliband: “Your nation is not my nation.”


“Remember, remember, the fifth of November/ Gunpowder, treason and plot/ I see no reason why gunpowder, treason/ should ever be forgot.”

Guy Fawkes was an anarchist hero who bravely tried to help his fellow oppressed humans by putting a few fireworks under the feet of corrupt members of Parliament. He was caught, hung, drawn and quartered by the military-industrial complex of 1605, but the people have remembered his brave deeds ever since with a bonfire, sometimes topped with an effigy of a hated political figurehead. Some people now wear a Guy Fawkes mask as they call for a bonfire of bonfires… there have even been stunts to deliver gunpowder to Parliament.

Ah, so November 5, it’s people’s justice time against parliament and authority, right? And let’s face it, this year the bonfires are gonna be raging full on, as it emerges just about every voice of authority – from ex-prime ministers, lords, senior Tories to TV celebrities, pop stars, hospital and charity bosses, to the Royal family are not merely mentally abusing us every day with their bullshit and thieving wholesale from us all our time, energy and taxes to keep up their lavish lifestyles, forcing poor people out of their homes, and then banning them from squatting or even being homeless on the street. But it is now starting to emerge that they’ve been abusing the most vulnerable (and even the dead) and children physically, and sexually too and if any of the victims speak out, it’s swept under the carpet as unthinkable… But you only need to look at the horrific way slavemasters treated slaves in the Caribbean and USA to realise that have manipulated society to control it are sadistic psychopaths.

Anyway, step into the prophetic world of HELIUM DEALER. Tis Monday, November 5, and a jolly – though cold – family seaside picnic is interrupted by a news bulletin…

Ok, time to level and de-fantasise… Guido Fawkes (also the name of a present-day right-wing blogger) was a Catholic unhappy about the Protestant rulers. He intended to replace James I with a Catholic monarch. He was no anarchist hero.From 1606, Bonfire Night was instituted by the crown, state and church for vigilance against Catholics, and also the burning down of the Houses of Parliament. It was a way to recruit a loyalist mob, a vanguard against a rival power, the Vatican, and also persecute Catholic people. During Cromwell’s reign, Christmas and other celebrations were banned, with November 5 being the only officially permitted party.

Still now, you’ll notice those with the public fireworks licenses are official bodies and royally-approved charities. In Lewes, the burning effigies sometimes border on fascistic, such as one year when gypsies were featured. Yet when we burnt a sculpture of Big Ben in the Forest of Dean (not on November 5, but January 3) the repercussions led to a people’s victory (against the Forest sell-off). And there have been occasions in history when state-sponsored pogroms against Catholics (and other minority groups) have gone wrong for the powers-that-be. Notably the 1780 Gordon Riots when the homes of the super-rich and the Bank of England got torched and the poorer Catholic homes were left intact.

But, anyway, this V For Vendetta film came out in 2006, Hollywood-ising and very much negating the power and intellect of Alan Moore’s comics and turning Bonfire Night into “rebellion against the fascist government night”, which ultimately is seen as a patriotic act. V For Vendetta started out in Alan Moore’s mind as an anarchist debate with many ambiguities, unlike the simplified movie. Moore’s V was no superhero, he was full of foibles. Natalie Portman and Steven Fry’s performances are other reasons why the film is a dud. And I REALLY hate the cooking scenes.

Nevertheless, those that identify with Anonymous and put up Facebook posts with the mask and quotes from the film are still making a very worthwhile stand against this truly horrendous mob that have seized control with only 20% support. I mean, what else can we do? This situation and the need for action – whether autonomous or mass-organised against these UTTER BASTARDS – goes beyond any -ism, specific theory or ideology, although the names evoked most often these days seem to be Tom Paine (18th century) and Gerard Winstanley/The Diggers (17th cent).

Let’s have your suggestions in the comments box… this could be a sequel blog… how do we destroy or escape a sadistic patriarchal militaristic violent paedophiliac control-freak monetarian brutalist society and make the world nicer for the many, rather than cushioned for the few at the expense of the many? Or is Tarzan Evans living in a different reality, and prone to exaggerate, misinform and mislead?

Btw, regarding paedophiles and those in authority that allow them to get away with it, here’s STIGMATA KETCHUP with a ditty inspired by the visit to Britain – which we paid for – of Pope “Hitler Youth” Benedict the 3000th… (just to point out, I attack the institutions and the figureheads of religions, governments, media, military, police and finance not the many decent individuals within the institutions)…

Happy Bonfire Night folks! Don’t get too carried away, mind…