Monthly Archives: October 2012

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Why do we at FOIST love Hallowe’en, All Hallow’s Eve or Samhain, Saint Satan’s Day, International Anarchy Night, whatever you want to call it? For the following reasons:

1. IT PISSES OFF GOD-BOTHERERS: This time of year is devilishly tricky for diehard Christians and the lawmaking Establishment in general. While the church and state have managed to co-opt the Bacchanalian orgy of Saturnalia and the winter Solstice to claim as the saviour’s birthday, and attempted to turn Eostre’s festival of fertility on its head by claiming THAT as the time when Jesus became a zombie, Friday 13th stylee… anyone with any sense knows that October 31 is the day the dead come to dance, and there’s nowt any contrary religious freak can dissuade us of that. As Hallowe’en invites a lot of chaos and revelry, an echo of the Lord of Misrule festivities of ancient times (when a poor person was genially permitted – or in some cases, banned – from turning the hierarchy upside down – and to treat his lord as a slave for a day… or however long he could get away with). Hallowe’en is a license to dress as outrageously as you like, and be who you want to be, even your worst nightmare. It’s great! And in the spirit of Hallowe’en, I hope many costumed ghouls and things that go bump in the night attend my local bible-bashers’ anti-Hallowe’en fireworks party tonight. Let’s show them fundamentalists they can’t try and brainwash their community (of Mitcheldean etc). Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys urged us to “take your social regulations and shove em up your ass”. I have spotted some donkeys in a field, but I don’t really want to go there. Besides, they don’t belong to me. (Incidentally, did you know ‘ass’ is one of only a few Celtic-derived words in the English language? Llareggub is another)

2. HALLOWE’EN PISSES OFF BORING GROWN-UPS

Ok, granted, sometimes kids go too far with the eggs and flour, their idea of a ‘trick’ when they don’t get a treat. What to do? Board up all your windows, pull your shutters down and triple-lock your doors… or keep a stock of licorice allsorts, Werther’s originals or mint humbugs (the sweets today’s children really love) to quell their anti-adult uprising. If you’re too tight and uncharitable to give strange children sweets, you deserve what’s coming… having said that, I have no sweets or no money, perspex or plywood! Seriously though, I’d much rather give to that local charity than the poppy pusher… In fact, why should the Royal British Legion get my money when I haven’t seen any equivocal retraction of the claim (made recently by its outgoing president) to weapons-makers that poppy day events are ideal networking events for selling arms and perpetuating wars? See http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/oct/15/royal-british-legion-president-quits After being caught out, Lieutenant General Sir John Kiszely might have been obliged to resign, but has the Legion properly distanced itself from the claims? Unlike Hallowe’en, the warmongering establishment puts us on a collective guilt trip if we don’t “wear our poppies with pride”. And unlike the trick or treaters who only call once (normally), the poppy-seller will knock on my door persistently, on a weekly basis, until I find some change to give him. “I’m sorry I’ve got no money” is not a permitted excuse for the remembrance merchant. This year, I’m gonna be a pariah and not help fund future wars in the guise of remembering past ones… and I hope you’ll join me.

3. IT WAKES UP THE DEAD

A few Hallowe’ens ago, FOIST got out the ouija board, as is only right and proper, and made contact with Joe Meek. Initially, Mr Meek (from Newent) accused Dr Pleasure of stealing his techniques and ideas. It wasn’t the case – Pleasure couldn’t even whistle Telstar (Margaret Thatcher’s favourite tune, incidentally), and was almost unaware of the producer extraordinaire. To cut a long story short, HELIUM DEALER made friends with the ghost of Joe Meek, and were posthumously permitted – nee, encouraged! – to sample David John & The Mood’s Digging For Gold, as well as the Moontrekkers and Screaming Lord Sutch for its tribute to Joe Meek… Shock Ice (Joe Meek’s Ice Cream Van)… FOIST played it to a manifestation of Joe via a special audio device which connected to the spirit world… his response? The ouija board spelled out: “See you in the charts.” What number in the hit parade the song got to, FOIST doesn’t know. I mean, who follows the charts these days? Here’s the Hallowe’en beauty, 2/3rds of the way through this little YouTube collection:

4. STONES TURN TO SPONGE

According to FOIST’s cosmic Hallowe’en calendar, if you hurl yourself at a stone – any stone, except concrete or bricks, they don’t work – at 9.37pm today, you will be enveloped within it and transported to another dimension. Because at this time, all stone turns to sponge. It’s a kind of open day for the inner-stone world. Red sandstone tends to be quite a mundane other spirit world, while – if you happen to be in the Preseli Hills – bluestone has itchy feet. It has the tendency to force you to carry it hundreds of miles, which can be back-breaking, and treacherous when it comes to the Severn Bridge. HELIUM DEALER found oolithic limestone an interesting experience. Armed with a video camera and recording devices, this is what transpired inside the stone… the visuals were something else, and quite unexpected… indeed, you might say disjointed, as they had no connection with the lyrics, communicated to us by the Buckstone in Staunton. A bit garbled, perhaps because concrete now stops the mighty stone from rocking after it rocked someone to death in the 1930s (or maybe before), and concrete is bad news for the stone spirits!

FOIST invites everyone else to share their ‘inside stone’ videos via the comments box below… 9.37pm tonight is the time they spongify, don’t be late, and don’t forget to bring expensive sound and video equipment with you when you take a run and jump at the stone… the longer the run-up, the faster, the better…

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I wrote a long eloquent post but the goddamn thing deleted itself… so this time I won’t bother, simply to urge you to attend the reunion THIS COMING SUNDAY [3pm, Railway pub, Newnham-on-Severn) of POSH FROCK & JUKEBOX, back after more than 20 years, members of which have conspired with FOIST at various times (including very recently in the case of Black Mountain Fiddler Jim, guest star of the new BIG CUN TREE EP, and in the distant past, Tony Hopkins (guitar), with the short-lived SEX TONES). The aforementioned ‘TONES supported John Otway (a friend of one Foistian family) at Cinderford’s Dean Centre (sledgehammers, kitchen sinks, Velvets songs, some may recall…). Now Mr Otway came to prominence in 1977 with one WILD WILLY BARRETT, for Really Free, who has been tracked down and performs exclusively at The Flying Shack, Staverton, NEXT FRIDAY (Nov 9, 7pm, Glos Airport). Here’s two visual and aural reminders (more info follows)…

So anyway, Poetpilot, the unique promoter in the most unique venue in Gloucestershire (ok, the Flying Shack doesn’t literally fly, but things inside it do… and how many lyrical flying instructors with a penchant for lost punk legends do you know? One.) presents Wild Willie Barrett there at the Shack, in a hangar at Gloucestershire Airport, halfway between Gloucester and Cheltenham on the backroads…

Here’s what Poetpilot says: “OK, tickets £5 (includes temp club membership for the night), doors open 7pm, music starts c. 8.45 pm, you get tickets by calling us at Flying Shack on 01452 690046 or email mike@flyingshack.com or better still in person at The Shack for cash! Lots of info on Willy at www.willybarrett.com

He adds: “This one is our musical highlight of the year and is a ticket-only event at 」5 per head. Willy had some chart fame in the 70s and 80s with John Otway, and now fronts a band that is totally original yet loads of fun. Here’s Willy’s press release…

“There’s no doubt about it, the evenings are definitely getting darker, the clocks will soon be going back – but we have the answer: beat those autumn blues with a evening of music and humour.

“Buckinghamshire’s very own eccentric musician Wild Willy Barrett comes to the Flying Shack on Friday 9 November with his band Sleeping Dogz .

“Their original blend of material covers genres from Bluegrass, Irish jigs and acoustic blues to what can only be described as punk folk, played on instruments as diverse as guitar, banjo, fiddle, cello, Irish pipes, whistles and drums.

“Willy has been working in France for the last year with French singer Mary-Laure (who will also be with him at The Flying Shack where the talented multi-instrumentalist has been putting together a more up-beat set with jazz-jive and country rock influences.

“Willy says he is undergoing a musical metamorphosis and this is reflected in his playing. If you are looking for a group within a set genre performing covers, forget it. However, if you are looking for a truly original performance full of fun, dry humour and the unexpected, with toe-tapping fiddle and banjo interspersed with haunting vocals, cello and guitar – see you there!”

Can’t say fairer that that… NOVEMBER 9, SEE YOU AT THE FLYING SHACK 🙂

And, in case you have the attention span of an amoeba, don’t forget THIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON, Posh Frock & Jukebox at the Railway, Newnham… This is what they say: “The original members of Posh Frock and Jukebox: James (Flee) Anderson, Patrick Barcoe, Simon Davies, Tony Hopkins and Jim Williams, are getting together for a reunion gig at The Railway Inn Newnham on the 4th of November at 4:00PM. This will be the first time we’ve all played together in over 20 years and we’re really looking forward to it. So if there’s anyone who still remembers us it’d would be great to see you! And even if you don’t remember us it would still be good to see you!!”

Lastly, they add… PLEASE NOTE! THE GIG STARTS AT 4:00pm AND NOT 3:00pm AS IT STATES AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE! So take note, it’s 4pm!

Pure Evil’s Jacky… heading for four figures, with YOUR HELP!

OK, FOIST-lovers, please get all your family, friends and even those who aren’t your friends to watch this YOUTUBE video, to get it up from 925 views and into the stellar realms of thousands!!!

Pure Evil, a band that evolved simultaneously inside and outside the FOIST umbrella… they recognised that to be tainted with the FOIST hex of non-success was not the best strategy, so recorded their LP, 20 Golden Greats elsewhere in a deep city Fortress… but they were lovingly received back to the FOIST stable in the womb-like forest nest for this psychotic music hall tribute, Jacky, a few years ago, recorded at the Spike Fawkes Film Studios in Ruardean. Ideal for any Bar Mitzvah or fundamentalist cheesecake weaving class, this cheeky number is just one facet of this grotesque-burlesque jazz-funk-punk-cabaret-lounge-toilet ensemble… a great deal of work went into this film (edited by FOIST design supremo Ed Risbey). However, an accompanying non-musical film Suppertime With Pure Evil, was subsequently banned and removed from public view. Too gratuitous and taboo-breaking even for the 21st century…

Now sit back, and enjoy, we need at least 75 people… (OR THE EVILS WILL COME AND GET YA)…

Yours, honoured to be named EVIL 7

FOIST history* timeline

* histories are subjective, so “his story” in this case is mine (TE)

1988: DR PLEASURE comes into existence thanks to the random accumulation of chemicals. He records schoolboy smut-rock collective THE METALLS (or Metallic Bondage Masters) on 4-track cassette (the medium for all early Foist), his first solo work, influenced by acid house and electro, and METASSIUM, a treble-obsessed electronic sonic terrorist organisation. Instruments used in the proto-FOIST studio then were guitar, bass, percussion, ZX Spectrum computer, Casio and Yamaha DS keyboards, breaks and beats LPs and other samples.

1989: Pleasure encounters Tarzan Evans, Freeway Smith and Lawnmower Green. Tarzan and Freeway, with Ben Gates, form BIG FOIST, named after a song by the Minutemen, a band they greatly admire. FOIST gigs begin at Coleford Community Centre, the first gig featuring Newport band Carlton B Morgan & The Supernormals, and a song improvised on the spot, called Safety Andrex. Unable to find a drummer, BIG FOIST dissolve, partly due to mushrooms, but after making one 4-track session. Metassium continues. Afternoon Sky may have formed at this point. By the end of the year, the FOIST label is formed, as is HEX FREMLIN, with Lawnmower Green on keyboards, Tarzan on vocals, and Freeway, guitar. Instead of a drummer, VERTEBRAE RICHARDSON joins on ghetto-blaster… Vertebrae plays breakbeats, and Freeway Smith’s bass parts and samples from Radio 4 plays etc.

1990: The fortnightly Coleford gigs take off massively after Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine play, shortly followed by EMF, HDQ, Moonflowers and many others. HEX FREMLIN play for free beer, and chaos sometimes results. The Coleford gigs (all of them in aid of the youth club) are stopped by the Chamber of Commerce and others because the owners of boarded-up shops objected. Many other FOIST acts make recordings, including AFTERNOON SKY, EX, CLOT SANOS, ZEBEDEE AARDVARK O’RILEY etc etc, a combination of 4-track and ‘field’ cassette recordings. FOIST cassettes THE STOREY OF BRIAN’S MIND and HEX FREMLIN’s TOP OF THE POPS VOL 23 quickly become bestsellers.

1991: Less FOIST made in this year, as DR PLEASURE moved from the Forest of Dean to Portsmouth. HEX FREMLIN recorded one track there, the anti-military song I’m Sorry Mrs Jones Your Son’s Just Been Shot Down In Iraq

1992: Moses Zephaniah Parker, previously immortalised in Clot Sanos’s Ballad of Yorkley Bus Stop epic (reprised in bite-size form in 2011), joins HEX FREMLIN on bass. When they play their biggest gig yet, supporting RDF and Daisy Chainsaw at the Gloucester Guildhall, Vertebrae collapses several times on stage, but the crowd just think HEX FREMLIN are dubbing it up, so get away with it. Practically get heckled off stage at Newport’s (legendary) TJs supporting Boss Hog, as they are left bass-less when Moses is too hungover to make the gig. Still no drummer in sight. They also play a 30-minute non-stop set in Cardiff’s Chapter, to a seemingly perplexed audience. At some point, Tarzan Evans gets a summer job in Devon and busks around Europe on the paltry savings from job, leaving HEX FREMLIN to continue with 2 temporary vocalists, Kev Page and Dave Palmer.

1993: Freeway, Moses and drummer Godfrey Dreamtone form CASUM, and HEX FREMLIN persuades Godfrey to join this FOIST act too.

1994: CASUM up and gigging and recording, easily eclipsing the popularity of any prior FOIST act. Around this time, THE UNSTRUNG saw Foist venturing into folky/semi-acoustic territory. HEX FREMLIN. now with an almost wholly new set and sound, record their best known song Feltham Bassett (produced by Mike Cooling) and also play some gigs, but finally realised they are indeed Hexed, and lay it to rest following a cheesy disco fancy-dress party at the Rosswyn (RIP) in Ross-on-Wye.

1995: CASUM tour Ireland and record and… HELIUM DEALER form, experimenting with jungle, Welsh-language radio, grind-hop and the legendary KEITH ODEON (now confined to a shed in Berry Hill).

1996-2000: These years are a blur for me. FOIST staged The (F)art of Noise with lots of bands at the Severn Revels Festival, FOIST acts DIRTYBOY were signed as were TURBOWANKER, two opposites on the musical scene. Both went on to massive success, the former in the lounge-punk-pop-grunge-electro-hippy scene, and the latter in the anarcho-punk world.

2002: At about this time, FOIST was located in a woodshed in Ruardean Woodside, soundproofed so much loudness and revelry occurred, including THE SHANDY-LEERS, UNCLE BEN’S CREAM SUPPER, and PURE EVIL were associated from time to time.

2003-9: FOIST continued with an ever dazzling array of acts, until…

2009: Beccy, the former singer from DIRTYBOY (now, alas, split), became landlord of the Angel in Coleford, and gave FOIST the green light to start putting on gigs. Launching ANOTHER FINE MESS, FOIST sought to reinvigorate the Forest of Dean music scene with a weekly open stage night in the pub. This led to the all-dayers Angelfest and Zombiefest, as well as a free compilation CD of many different artists from the Forest of Dean, Out of the Woods.

2010: FOIST artists, especially HELIUM DEALER, active, combine to record the All Six Fingers LP.

2011: FOIST spends the entire year on the 3600ADD project (60 unnamed tracks, total time 3600 secs)

2012: FOIST records an EP with its most folk act yet, BIG CUN TREE, more protein-shakin’ funky frolics from ADULT PLAYROOM, and other artists yet to be realised, marketed, branded and promoted. FOIST also disappoints many people by pulling out of an over-ambitious proposal for a walkabout performance called the Brain Parade. What it was to entail might never be revealed… FOIST releases may become available if there is any interest, for cost price or less.. WE’RE AMATEURS AND WE’RE NOT PROUD!

Waiting… Always Waiting

FOIST is Waiting for its latest manufactured pop act which we are grooming for megastardom to come up with a name, and Waiting for the chance to make this into a proper video (anyone want to be an extra? Let us know in the comments below). We’re also Waiting for politicians to get what they deserve (fill that one in yourself) for the (insert adjective here) way they treat us. Just generally Waiting… Waiting for people to react, to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING… Hello? Hollow?
(though obviously waiting doesn’t have to mean ‘impatiently waiting’… I think there’s a nice bit of musical patience going on here perhaps?)

Folk off yourself with the help of BIG CUN TREE

FIFTH time lucky I hope posting this… Tarzan Evans here… new to this blogging malarkey! If you want to find FOIST on YouTube, tune into the hexfremlin channel (predominantly FOIST with a smattering of other stuff).

FOIST are planning to make some proper films soon to go with the music… here’s one quarter of the new EP, their debut, of the new FOIST signing BIG CUN TREE, the figureheads of the up and coming ‘folk off’ movement (generally involves taking lyrics from 19th-century collections of ‘ancient peasant songs’ and merrily and pleasantly despoiling them in proper Foistian style, but in this track bizarrely while it is not based on any ancient text, musically sounds almost purist folk)… T

The EP (currently being mastered by DR PLEASURE in his FOIST den dip in thic wuds) is called MEADOWS OF PHLEGM and as always will be available in no stores. Thanks to Fiddler Jim of the Black Mountains, FOIST owes you some bakewell…

Now does this work?